Which Grandma is right?
My daughter is 17 months and I like to think she is quite bright (being her proud mummy, lol!) but I would like some opinions on something she did the other day.
We were visiting my Mum and on the way there I bought her a book about a farm. She has other animal books but they tend to have cartoon pictures in them and this new one had actual photos of the animals, which I thought would be a bit more educational.
Anyway, we were flicking through it and came to a photo of several farm animals in a field – a horse, a sheep, some cows, a pig, a duck and a chicken. Just for fun I asked my daughter “where’s the horse”, “where’s the cow” etc and I was amazed when she pointed to all the right animals in succession!
The only one she got wrong was the duck as she pointed to the chicken the first time I asked but then corrected herself. My Mum then poured cold water on my excitement, saying that she was only doing what was normal for her age and I shouldn’t make too much of it (my Mum can be a bit of a b***h sometimes and is often critcal of my parenting skills).
I was a bit annoyed by her reaction so when I saw my MIL the next day I mentioned what my daughter had done and her reaction was totally opposite. She said that this was showing advanced recognition skills and that I should be really proud because she is obviously very clever! Now I won’t lie – I would obviously like to believe my MIL because it makes me feel good about my child but who do you think is right? Just interested to know! Thanks!
I have a 17 month son and he can’t do this yet but I am not worried – he is developing all the time and every week starts doing something new, but I think your daughter has picked up this trick quicker than a lot of kids her age.
You are totally right to be proud of your daugther – it a normal and healthy parental response, and giving your daughter lots of praise for all these little things really builds up her self esteem and security and she will hopefully throw less tantrums when she does hit the terrible twos (she will have some, but a lot of tantrums are because the child doesn’t feel they get enough attention).
I am going to be really proud of my son when he starts recognising his animals (even if it takes until hes 16 lol!)
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Hello from a gran of a 10 year old boy and 2 year old girl: Most kids of your child’s age can tell the difference between the animals although that is very clever – my granddaughter is 2 and she knows most of the animals and a chicken but calls them birdies but your mum shouldn’t have said what she did, she should have praised the child as that encourages them to do even better. Mums always like to give their opinion, more on the way you are dealing with the child -she will say ‘oh I wouldn’t let her do that or when you were young etc. you will have to forgive us grannies that think we are trying to help, knowing that we went through hell trying to do the best for our children, so next time she says something you don’t like try and bite your tongue, she doesn’t mean it.
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Hello, my daughter will recognize animals/things like this too.
I got a whole set of Fisher price little people animals, and she knows most of them. Snakes, bear, tiger, pig and sheeps and others.
If we watch a documentary on TV, she will point at the animals she knows.
Like the other day she recognized a tiger on TV. The only ones she has even saw was in a book.
So I would say, it is pretty normal yes, but still very clever !
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I think that is a wonderful achievement for your daughter! Believe your MIL. Don’t listen to your mother when she is so critical. That is awful to be cold like that. My son is 15 months, and he is nowhere near being able to point out animals yet. Keep up the good work!
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First, that’s great that your daughter was able to do that. It’s clear that you’ve been spending a lot of time with doing a wonderful job!
All my kids were able to do the same thing at that age, but we also read a lot and talked about everything around us. And my oldest is actually advanced — in kindergarten, reading at a 3rd- or 4th-grade level and doing 2nd grade math. It’s too soon to tell for my 4-year-old and 18-month-old as to whether they’re really "advanced" or not.
I think what your daughter did is fairly typical of kids who are exposed to lots of things. Obviously, all kids are different in their abilities, but you can maximize their abilities by reading to them, talking to them, and including them in a variety of activities throughout the day.
That being said, I think maybe your mom was trying to make sure you didn’t start thinking your daughter was a super-genius. We all think our kids are great, but the truth is that there’s no way to distinguish most gifted children from others at such a young age.
Your MIL was right to be excited and proud of your daughter, and you should be, too. I hope you’d be just as proud of any new skill, regardless of whether she was "early" or "late" to meet that milestone. It’s always going to be a big achievement for her to learn new things.
I do understand how you’re feeling, though. I remember when my oldest was just barely 2 years old, and she had learned to write the letter M. My MIL’s first response (and she was a kindergarten teacher) was that she wasn’t writing it "correctly." Um, if my 2-year-old is starting to write letters, I’m not terribly concerned yet *how* she’s writing those letters.
Keep working with your daughter as you have been, and celebrate every achievement, large or small. Just be careful about comparing her to other kids too much, and focus on how she’s learning and growing.
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My friends baby is 17 months old and she can do & say the names of the animal that is on each page in her little book. My babies could do it at that age so I think it’s normal for her age. There’s nothing wrong with you being excited though. Every time my kids do something new, I tend to get overexcited. They will then get excited and therefore more motivated to learn.
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My opinion
I know how you feel – our daughter took her first steps when she was just 8 months old, and I told our friend about it and he said "Oh yeah – a buddy of mine’s son is walking at 9 months, so I guess she’s right on track." I had been so proud of her, and it was like my bubble was just burst! Then, I decided to not let it bother me. I know my daughter is wonderful (as you know yours is!), and I try not to let other people’s opinions affect me. Some adults are just hard to please!
It’s sad that it’s your own little girl’s grandmother that’s un-impressed, but try not to let it bother you. Some people have something negative to say about everything (whether they actually feel negative about the subject or not) – just surround yourself and your daughter with the support of your MIL!
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These answers are obsurd! I have a bright 16 month old who can talk up a storm and follows directions wonderfully. However, despite all my working with him (I stay home with him) he calls every animal a dog (except a duck, he does get that one right). I also babysit a 24 month old and 26 month old neither of which can id multiple animals. I would say she is definately advanced in that area. These people who say that is normal obviously haven’t been around many toddlers.
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I have a 17 month son and he can’t do this yet but I am not worried – he is developing all the time and every week starts doing something new, but I think your daughter has picked up this trick quicker than a lot of kids her age.
You are totally right to be proud of your daugther – it a normal and healthy parental response, and giving your daughter lots of praise for all these little things really builds up her self esteem and security and she will hopefully throw less tantrums when she does hit the terrible twos (she will have some, but a lot of tantrums are because the child doesn’t feel they get enough attention).
I am going to be really proud of my son when he starts recognising his animals (even if it takes until hes 16 lol!)
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All children develop at different levels but it sounds as though your daughter is a bright child. And you have every right to be a proud mum so go with your MIL. Im sure you’ve put in a lot of effort as a mum and its a thankless job but this is one of the few little rewards we mums get so enjoy the moment.your mum probably doesnt realise that shes critical and thinks shes giving you good advice. Its hard but if you can learn to take her critisism with a pinch of salt and just keep telling yourself " I know whats best for my child better than anyone".And just say to your mum " well thanks for your advice, I’ll bear it in mind", then it makes it a little easier to get along nicely
It sounds to me like you’re doing a great job on your own. Best of luck for the future.
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Mum to Dylan 8, Morgan 5, Jevan 2 and Bonnie, 4wks.
That is really good!at that age all animals with four legs were a dog to my son it took me ages to teach him about sheep cows and all the other animals!he’s 23 months now and knows the names of all the other animals books really helped teach him and since we live in the country walking and pointing them out.he still adores out little dog but it’s clicked the other animals are called something different!your little girl is bright your mother is very negative every achievement a toddler makes should be celebrated.
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This is a normal thing for many 17 month old children, obviously not all children that young can recognize all their animals, but many can. If you have worked with your child before with animals, regardless of whether or not they were cartoon or real then she is learning from what you have taught her.
I would go somewhere in the middle of what both are saying. There is nothing wrong with you being a proud mother, don’t let anyone tell you that there is!
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any child can learn anything you tell them if you take the time to teach them.but any parent would be thrilled at the knowledge that their child is absorbing what they have previously learnt
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Yep! Your daughter is as bright as a button. Keep encouraging and supporting her learning – sounds like you are doing a great job. The more encouragement and support she gets and the more you tell her she is bright and clever the more she will live up to it. Enjoy your daughter. Your mum in law is right. Be thankful you have her support if not that of your mum.
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Parent of a bright son who is on track to qualifying as a doctor!!!
I guess everyone is entitled to their opinions, but I salute you. Keep teaching you child, and she will continue to shine. I guess in this aspect I agree with your MIL, since she is the one who is praising you for teaching these things. As your mother seems like she is acting as if you are pushing her too hard. Of course kids make mistakes, that’s why it is our job to teach them, and correct their mistakes (of course in a nice way…) I
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i think thats a good sign – my little boy just turned 2 and can recognise animals in the field or in the cartoons but struggles a bit with the photos.
besides, shouldnt your mother be as proud as you are? if your baby is late developing or early shouldnt the parents and grandparents be proud either way!!
you’re lucky to have a MIL who cares though – mine seems to think she’s seen it all before with her granddaughter and doesnt bother about her grandson!
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honestly i don’t mean to sound mean,but all kids do it at that age.never the less it is normal you exited about it
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I think you have every right to be proud she knew all of the animals. Let your mother say whatever. Just remember she was a mom before you
Anyhow you have a right to be proud
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I wouldn’t know since I’m a first time mommy..but I think that your mom should have been supportive. I mean, come on, you’re a proud mom and she didn’t have to burst your bubble..that’s a bit cruel. I am pregnant with my first baby and I am always so excited when I feel something different in my tummy and want to tell the whole world about it LOL….Anways, congrats…I think what she did was pretty smart!
This might help a bit: http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-17-month-old_5927.bc
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Both my son and daughter and three of my grandchildren could have done it at that age. The newest one is only three months old but I expect she will be able to do so. All of my family are bright so to me it is normal but I expect there will be some children that can’t do it. Normally children who’s parents don’t give them their time and attention.
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