Discuss the Undiscussabull – Elaine Froese – Farm Family Coach
When I work with a family, its like there’s this huge bull sitting in the middle of the living room and everybody knows that bull is there, but they’re not willing to talk about it.
So, what are the “undiscussabulls” on your ranch or farm? If you can get to talking about what those are, you are going to be able to move forward to plan for change. Duration : 0:1:20
What Elaine does with her families is to take a card and write down one word on that card and she literally lays it on the table.
The one she has picked in this video is inheritance. What does inheritance mean to your family? What does fairness look like to your family? What are power and control in your family?
When you take the physical act of putting it on paper and laying it on the table its kind of like that conflict issue goes outside of you and becomes an issue on the table that you can deal with.
About Elaine Froese
Elaine Froese is an expert in helping family businesses talk about tough issues. She’s a catalyst for courageous conversations for positive farm succession planning. Like many of her clients, Elaine is an active farmer and she watches the sky. Her common sense and down to earth style of communicating and asking hard questions is deeply appreciated by folks who find it hard to ask for help.
http://elainefroese.com
Recommended Reading
- Family Farm Succession Planning
- Who in The World Requires a Farm Succession Planning Consultant?
- Are You Someone Who Thinks They Need a Farm Succession Planning Expert and Precisely Why or Why Not?
- Are You Someone Who Requires a Farm Succession Planning Specialist?
- Farm Succession and Strategic Planning Group
Elaine,
Leadership requires negotiation and cooperation. Each person is both a leader and a follower at the same time, especially when they represent different generations. That being said, isn’t it a little naive to think that a “workaholic” father is somehow magically to become a laid back, hey take the weekend off sort of person?
Experts, outsiders like you and me are always coming in right in the middle of the movie – maybe never learning what really happened before we got there. Perhaps it wasn’t the insensitive father who didn’t see the need for time off, rather it was the son’s unwillingness or inability to confront the situation years ago?
And if the son did not have the courage to hammer out an agreement with his dad, maybe he should have be open about the possibilities to his future bride.
Leadership is about honest communication. I am sure that if someone was to take a poll of your clients, past and present, they would say that the most important thing you contributed to their situation was that you got them to talk together honestly – maybe for the first time.